Spit Happens

Macey has been making the cutest facial expressions lately that I just can't help but kiss her and nibble on her cheeks. I'm so sad because my camera is officially shot so I'm missing a lot of these photo ops. We figured out that something is wrong with the flash so if I have ample light then I can take pictures but otherwise we are going to have to get a new camera. Now it's just convincing Matt the necessity of me scrapbooking every aspect of Macey's life and I need photos in order to do that. I guess I could dust off the old 35mm.

Okay sorry back on track...so, Macey gets a kick out of when I get close to her mouth and make kissing sounds. Sometimes she'll open her mouth because it echoes in her mouth and she just smiles even bigger. I know it sounds weird but she thinks it's funny. The other day I was making the funny noises and had a passing thought she just ate so this might be dangerous. Not more then 2 seconds later Macey spits up and outward right when I was sucking in no less. EWWWW I got a mouth full of spit up. I had my first Jim Carey gagging moment. It's amazing from whatever position your child is they can spit up projectile...even from a laying down position. There is a reason they call it spit "up". Macey is like a little geyser. Instinctively I sprayed everything out of my mouth like you see in the movies. Not my most gracious moment. I think I'll get a kick out of this moment when I review it back in heaven.

Emotional Burnout

I had the wonderful opportunity to go to a workshop that featured Julie de Azevedo - Hanks regarding emotional burnout. This was especially a treat for me because I love her music. I cannot tell you how timely this fireside was. Just to hear that I'm not alone and that it's okay to ask for help were things that I needed to be reminded of. I've had a couple of curve balls thrown at me this week on top of trying to be a good wife, mother and Young Women's leader it's been overwhelming but there were some things that I was able to take away from this night that I would like to share.

It's okay to say "no". I know I especially struggle with this. I'm a yes mam and sometimes I need to take a step back and not fill my plate so full that I can't meet all my obligations. Julie went over ways that it's okay to say no and it be an honorable answer.

Something that rang also in my ears was I need to take ownership of my own happiness. I need to remember to do things in my life that I love. I notice that I get down when I'm not doing things that make me happy like scrapbooking, crocheting, quilting, singing and playing the piano. I need to make time for those things in my life because in a sense they define who I am. I told my husband after the fireside that I don't want to live my life with regret for things that I wish I would've done because sometimes I let fear control my life. Fear of failure, fear of success...just plain fear. Fear is what halts me from being truly happy. I heard somewhere that fear and faith cannot exist together.

The last thing I really struggle with is asking and accepting help. I usually think I can do everything on my own and I'm so scared of burdening people with asking for help. But on the flip side I'm more than willing to help anyone out in need so why do I think this way??? A song comes to mind from Michael McLean "I can't do everything". So many times we have this idea that we can do everything and it gets overwhelming...that goes back to the saying no thing so you can be fully available to say yes. Julie made a comment that we always compare ourselves to that girl named "Molly". I have no idea how this stigma came about but I think it's an unconscious burden we as women put on ourselves to be perfect. It's not healthy to compare ourselves to others because chances are the people we are comparing ourselves to are having the same difficulties within their lives. The comment was made that they are just good fakers.

Last thing is it's okay to feel. It's okay to feel angry, sad, mad, happy. Allow yourself to feel these emotions. So many times women keep these emotions in and it affects our health and emotional well being.

These are just some thoughts that were running through my mind. I know everyone can identify with them. We as women need to stand strong and sustain each other in our difficult but worthwhile roles as wives, mothers and sisters. We are not meant to travel this road alone.

The Invisible Mother

I read this from my friend "Lewie's" blog and wanted to re post it for all you mother's out there. It inspired me and hopefully it will touch you in some way also.

Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?' Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no on can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hand; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated with honors - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At time, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. They writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'Your gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're going it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Kick off the Holiday Season

Rate this performance at The Sims On Stage

Honey I'm blowing out the sprinklers

How does one go from blowing out the sprinklers to losing a room in your house? I'll explain! My illustrious husband had good intentions of blowing out the sprinklers on Saturday and boy that was a learning experience. He ended up blowing two valves because he had the pressure up too high on his compressor. No sweat for the handy man though. A few tools and Matt's handy man hands later the valves are fixed. Our turn off switch for the sprinklers is located in our office downstairs and upon moving in the house it was pointed out to us that some of the paint was bubbling up but the area was not showing any moisture. So we didn't think anything of it. When Matt went to turn the water off he noticed the valve was leaking again and found a warped O ring in there. When he went to investigate a little deeper in the wall it was covered in mold. He decided to take just a little portion of the wall out to see how far it went back. 4 hours later he comes up and said you don't want to see what I did to the office. I asked what did you do? He told me I was going to cry if I saw it. The door was sealed off so I was looking from outside the window and half of my walls were completely gone. The sheet rock and insulation were gone with the studs showing. He had found mold on the sheet rock and insulation. It wasn't as bad as Matt was making it out to be but my walls are gone. I actually was the one staying calm. The only thing I said was "Well, you always wanted a home you could finish...now here's your chance". So we're kicked out of the downstairs until hubby can get the mold situation taken care of and the walls finished. Joy is everywhere!

High School Tag

1. DID YOU DATE SOMEONE FROM YOUR SCHOOL? Not really...I was lucky to even be noticed by guys.

2.WHAT KIND OF CAR DID YOU DRIVE? My sophomore to junior year I had my choice of 3 Datsun 210's that were parked in front of our house. Two were orange with one of the front passengers seats was removed and the other car was green with a white door. Then I upgraded my senior year to a Grey Nissan pickup truck.
3. DID YOU PASS YOUR DRIVER'S LICENSE TEST YOUR FIRST TRY? I hate to admit this but I failed the written portion. I passed the driving by the skin of my teeth. I had a clutch and at the last minute the car I had been practicing on had a broken tail light so I had to drive a car with no power steering and the clutch was going out. I think the guy passed me because he felt sorry for me. He must've got a kick out of the fact when I went to signal I flipped my windshield wipers on then when trying to shut it off I stalled the car.

4. WERE YOU A PARTY ANIMAL? Nope

5. WERE YOU CONSIDERED A FLIRT? No not until after college
6. WERE YOU IN BAND, ORCHESTRA, OR CHOIR? Orchestra...I played cello

7. WERE YOU A NERD? For the most part but I fit in all different groups
8. WERE YOU ON ANY VARSITY TEAMS? I was on varsity all four years for basketball and volleyball...good times
9. DID YOU EVER GET SUSPENDED/EXPELLED? No...I was devastated if I was even late for class
10. CAN YOU STILL SING THE FIGHT SONG? It was always on the wall so I just read it...I'm horrible at memorizing things
11. WHO WERE YOUR FAVORITE TEACHERS? It's been so long I'm struggling to remember any of my teachers. Senor Rosendin, Ms. Ham, my volleyball coach was also my business teacher and I can only remember her first name Molly.
12. WHERE DID YOU SIT FOR LUNCH? Before I could drive near the trophy cases next to the office then after I got my license I'd drive home everyday.

13. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S FULL NAME? Renton High School
14. WHAT IS YOUR SCHOOL'S MASCOT AND COLORS? Indians, Red, White and Black...that's kind of funny aren't those the Utes colors?
15. DID YOU GO TO HOMECOMING AND WITH WHO? Never got asked to my own Homecoming but I think I took my boyfriend to my Senior year and stayed long enough to get pictures then left.
16. IF YOU COULD GO BACK AND DO IT AGAIN WOULD YOU? Heck NO, I won't GO!
17. WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER MOST ABOUT GRADUATION? Being worried that I wasn't going to be able to walk at graduation because of surgery and the graduation party afterward was really fun!
18. WHERE DID YOU GO SENIOR SKIP DAY? After my classes :) I met up with the others at Lake Washington

19. WERE YOU IN ANY CLUBS? National (Nerd) Honor Society

20. HAVE YOU GAINED SOME WEIGHT SINCE THEN? Being that I just had a baby a month ago YES.

21. WHO WAS YOUR PROM DATE? Never went to my prom but went to Tahoma's Prom.
22. ARE YOU PLANNING ON GOING TO YOUR 10 YEAR REUNION? That's past and gone and my class is lame for lack of planning they met at a bar. I'm glad I didn't waste the plane ticket to go up there although I really wanted to strut my stuff because I was really homely back then!

23. DID YOU HAVE A JOB IN HIGH SCHOOL? I helped my Dad out on his business

Let's tag Brittany, Anne, Christina, Beth

Raking leaves right before the snow storm

I've been trying to get some one on one time in with Maryn each day and at the beginning of the week before it snowed 5 inches I asked her what she wanted to do and her reply was to rake the leaves. Of course this means play in the leaves while Mommy does all the raking. It was funny to watch her stick her head in the pile like an Ostrich. Our effort was in vain though. After we finished raking up all the leaves a huge windstorm came through and completely covered the yard again. At least she had fun.

I Love Volleyball

I love it enough to go play after a month of having a baby. It felt so good to go out and play Wednesday night. I wasn't able to go to the Young Women's activity that night because it was in downtown so I went to the church later to play co-ed volleyball. I felt like I had cement shoes on and kept getting blocked by the net but it was sure fun. My poor body is rebelling today though. I can barely lift my arms over my head and of all places my bum is sore. Maybe that's a good thing...work off all the Halloween candy I ate.

Weird Phone Call

Ring Ring Ring...

Debbie: Hello

Some Older Lady: Carol

Debbie: Pardon

SOL: Carol

Debbie: I'm sorry but you have the wrong phone number

SOL: Oh no I don't!(quite emphatically)

Debbie: Oh yes you do!

SOL: No I don't...Where's Carol...put on Carol

Debbie: This is the Murdock Residence

SOL: Are you sure...oh...well sorry

Click

Little Mermaid and Spider Witch

Halloween is a big deal at my house...although I didn't put much into this year as in years past because Miss Macey decided to join us at the beginning of the month. The only thing I was sad about is this was the first year that I didn't buy pumpkins or go to a pumpkin patch. We'll have to go all out next year. We were able to attend a Halloween Carnival on Thursday with the rest of Maryn's playgroup. Great job Taylor on putting that all together. There was a cupcake walk, face painting, spooky bingo, a pumpkin toss and spider fishing. Maryn was really into the cupcake toss and when they would call out the number if she wasn't on it she would run to find it if no one was on it...one draw back for a numbered cupcake walk...a kid who recognizes her numbers. I think she scored 4 mini cupcakes and I had to tell the lady playing the music that Maryn needed to be cut off. Maryn still tried her hardest to win those cupcakes even though I told her she was done. Like I said my camera has been screwy so I have a few pictures but not much of the carnival.

We also had Trunk or Treat at our ward building on Friday and it was so fun to see all the kids dressed up. Matt and I were grinning ear to ear because it was our first neighborhood Halloween. We are true suburbanites now and it feels great!! I decked out the back of the Yukon like usual with spider webs, spiders and orange lights. I think I threw a bat in there this time too. After Maryn did her rounds she came back to hand out candy and when she ran out she would politely tell everyone "sorry, we ran out of candy" so I wouldn't have to keep repeating myself.

Maryn was dressed up as a Spider Witch and Macey went as a Mermaid. Little background, Ariel is Maryn's favorite princess and that is what she wanted to be but daddy put a kibosh on that. Her attitude lately has been reflecting that of Ariel's and Matt didn't want to put up with it anymore. He refused to get an Ariel costume so I told him that he needed to take her costume shopping because I didn't have the heart to tell her. After 2 weeks of convincing Maryn of other costumes she could wear I sold her on being a witch somehow. We got her super excited because I let her wear Mommy's makeup and then she found out her friend was dressing up as a witch also so that sealed the deal.

Are you talking to me?

Issues with my camera

Word of advice...never give your digital camera to your 3 year old to take pictures or all the settings will be changed when you get it back. I have been going crazy because majority of my pictures have not turned out from the past few weeks. I didn't get hardly any good pictures of Macey on her blessing day. There are a few I may be able to fix the lighting in my photo program but I might have to fudge and just dress her up after the fact. Macey is getting the short end of the stick where quantity of pictures are involved. Maryn is always begging me to take pictures and I've been giving in a little too easy lately. I think for her birthday she will be getting her own little personal camera.