School is coming right around the corner and Maryn and I just got our school clothes shopping semi-completed. She goes through so many pants it's ridiculous so I got smart and bought double of what I did last year. I'm just so hesitant to do that because my kid grows like a weed. But if she follows her track record last year she'll have holes in every one of her jeans in 6 months. This is going to sound lame but I'm excited to pack her lunches so I can put "lovey" notes in them.
I had some thoughts this week while we were shopping. And you thought this was a post solely on school clothes. The rest of this post is NOT meant to be a poor me, pity me post but just an inside look on a few things. So please don't say I'm so sorry or any of that...this is just an inside look on how things affect you later in life. I NEVER want anyone EVER to feel sorry for me because I have a great life. It just took some work and time to get where I am.
When I was in grade school I was different. Because of that I was an easy target. I was bullied at school both physically, socially and emotionally. The only reason I stayed in school because I loved to learn. No matter where I went I couldn't escape it. I didn't realize how much it still affected me until I took Maryn shopping this past week. I found myself feeling the same feelings of inadequacy that I did like I was starting school all over again and I would be d#%$ed if my child was going to have to experience the same thing. So, I found myself looking at clothes that normally I wouldn't price wise because I wanted her to look her best. I was justifying buying things probably we didn't need and what put me over the edge finally was Maryn was comparing herself to another child and said this is the same clothes that a certain girl has I want to dress like her. I had to take a moment and I realized I was unknowingly pushing her in the wrong direction. I stopped and told her I don't want you to dress like anyone else. I want you to dress like Maryn and be Maryn, no one else. She looked at me and said okay.
The last thing I ever want to do to is push my insecurities on my child. I'm excited for her to start the first grade but I don't want her to go through the living nightmare I went through. There is only so much you can do to protect your kids and the rest is up to them. The only thing I can do as a mother is make sure she has a good self-worth and that she loves herself and she doesn't let anyone tell her what she is supposed to act like, dress like or be like. Maybe I was supposed to go through those things so I could help my children...who knows. So thus, the clothes shopping is done...and for all the discounts I got, May Bear looks amazing!
The more I think about it I'm going to miss you terribly through out the day. You are a strength to me and bring me so much happiness. I'm just so thankful you got your father's ability of making friends. You rock those skinny jeans because you're destined to have curves when you get older.
4 Special Comments:
I totally understand where you are coming from because it happened to me, too. Way to go on realizing how to best help Maryn. You're on the right track when you can overcome your own experiences and help her to have a better outlook on life. I love seeing my kids deal with things with the confidence and self-esteem I never had.
It is hard not to over-do school clothes shopping. Good job on teaching Maryn not to base her self-worth on clothes. Still, school clothes make the back-to-school experience fun:) Can't believe how big she is! First grade this year??la
cute clothes, thanks for the heads up on the old navy jeans, i got some for all the kids, extra for hannah since she hammers every pair. just remember your SNL daily affirmation, you're good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it people like you
She is the cutest. I'm not looking forward to the school shopping. I guess the plus for me is I have boys, jeans and a T-shirt for me. Girls clothes are SOOOO cute.
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